I have a couple of friends (I love you all ... ) who have these brilliantly active minds that seem to be constantly seeking out new sources of musical inspiration, literary inspiration -- new voices of any kind – voices to propel them through their days and help them to contextualize and make sense of this process of self discovery all of each individually go through. I love meeting them, because through their individual searches, they turn me on to new ideas and ideologies that spin me off in new directions. I know I’ve written about this before … but it’s something I don’t think I’ll ever get over. I feel as though all of this time alone and time to travel has helped me to crystallize my thoughts about the intrigue of it all … and has helped me to be just a bit more receptive.
I think each of us has an inward search going on, and the ironic thing is that the inward seeking we do is enriched tenfold when we open ourselves up to other people. It’s like there are these layers of receptiveness, and each of us (at least as I conceptualize it), are all on our own separate – yet intermingled -- journeys. I feel as though I’m learning, gradually, to become more receptive to my own inner world, and, in turn, receptive to the inner journeys of others.
I do, of course, realize that the pooling of ideas I’m talking about is a pretty basic notion – something that’s no doubt been discussed and articulated in any number of ways – I guess I’m just trying to articulate the fact that I’m finally reaching the point where I’m not at all scared of the results of that ‘dialogue of minds’, so to speak. The notion of limitless ideas and ideologies, endless books and thousands of new musicians used to scare me on some deep level. I shied from it at first, for reasons I think I’m still working out.
Now, though, I’m beginning to realize that the best thing about this life is that no matter how receptive we manage to become, there will always be this endless bounty of new voices to discover. So yeah. That’s all I really had to say … it takes me a while to spit out even basic thoughts though, ha.
Here’s a quote I’ve been loving from this movie called 'Waking Life' that absolutely floored me a few weeks ago. I’ve watched it twice now … and there are so many ideas, constructs and influences bandied about that I think it’ll take me many, many more viewings to begin to appreciate the full scope of the movie. This particular quote is by this guy named Timothy “Speed” Levitch who appears in the film … I could describe who he is, based on my admittedly limited knowledge of him, but here’s what good ol’ Wikipedia has to say:
Tim "Speed" Levitch (born 1970) is an American actor, tour guide, speaker, author and voice actor. His nickname is derived from his trademark fast talking style. Levitch has appeared in multiple films and has had his poetic and philosophical works published in books and periodicals …
The entry goes on, true to Wiki form, in voluminous detail. The article has links to various aspects of his biography, the films he’s been in … on and on. You get the picture. My Uncle just loaned me one of Levitch’s most famous films – The Cruise – and I haven’t even had time to watch it yet. No doubt when I do, it’ll spin me off in a hundred more directions … just like “Waking Life,” the film that just introduced me to him. There’s no end to it … it’s beautiful.
So! If I use up every blog I ever write from here until the end of my life writing and rhapsodizing about the beauty of these rabbit holes … I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of it. It’s fun for me to tease them out, to follow them and explain them as far as I can ... to help myself understand and remember the course. And even now, in the process of writing this all out, I’m realizing that the act of writing helps me to express my thanks for this “ongoing wow” – so PLEASE, please … if you’ve got something, some things, that are dazzling you, waking you up, keeping you awake, whatever ... share them with me.
I feel as though that’s what Levitch must mean by “this dancing exuberance,” right?
Ok, here’s the quote, finally:
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On this bridge, Lorca warns, "life is not a dream. Beware and beware and … beware." And so many think because "then" happens, "now" isn't.
But didn't I mention the ongoing "wow" is happening right now? We are all coauthors of this dancing exuberance ... where even our inabilities are having a roast.
We are the authors of ourselves, coauthoring a gigantic Dostoyevsky novel starring clowns. This entire thing we're involved with called the world ... is an opportunity to exhibit how exciting alienation can be.
Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time ... by moments flabbergasted to be in each other's presence.
The world is an exam to see if we can rise into the direct experiences. Our eyesight is here as a test to see if we can see beyond it. Matter is here as a test for our curiosity. Doubt is here as an exam for our vitality. Thomas Mann wrote that he would rather participate in life … than write a hundred stories. Giacometti was once run down by a car, and he recalled falling into a lucid faint, a sudden exhilaration, as he realized at last something was happening to him.
An assumption develops that you cannot understand life and live life simultaneously. I do not agree entirely. Which is to say I do not exactly disagree. I would say that life understood is life lived. But the paradoxes bug me, and I can learn to love and make love ... to the paradoxes that bug me. And on really romantic evenings of self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion.
Before you drift off, don't forget. Which is to say, remember. Because remembering is so much more a psychotic activity than forgetting.
Lorca in that same poem said ... that the iguana will bite those who do not dream. And as one realizes ... that one is a dream figure … in another person's dream -- that is self-awareness.
-- Timothy 'Speed' Levitch, from the film 'Waking Life'
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Oh, and ps – who’s Lorca? I have absolutely no frigging idea ... so I’m off to the land of wiki to find out, ha. And don't you love how sometimes it seems that certain movies, certain books, which end up being perfect for a given moment in our lives, or perfect for our moods or temperament, seem to continually find their way into our hands through whatever channels are open? I had seen mentions of 'Waking Life' years ago ... I'd already fallen in love with some of the director's other work (Richard Linklater ... he's the guy who directed 'Before Sunrise' and 'Before Sunset')... and it took me years to finally watch it. That's a function, I think, of all that is out there, along with that whole notion of receptiveness.
Ok, I'm done, 'promise. Happy New Years everybody.
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